The Healingfest is just around the corner. I am heading out to Colorado Friday to participate. On Monday there is a new program working with the Triad of Change. I hope to bring back the goods. It is nice to know I will be joined by 6 other people from the practice. So we will bask in it all and return home to share with you. On Monday the office will be OPEN and Jasmine Esquerra will be entraining that day. Some of you have already met Jasmine. She is a practitioner who has just moved from Texas and will be around the office a lot. I know she will touch your heart.
Well, we’re on the other side of another Valentine’s Day. This year it wasn’t speaking to me too loudly but I certainly remember some Valentine’s days where my expectations certainly weren’t met, and the day did not go like I planned. I recently read something that I liked from one of the teachers of the PAX work with Alison Armstrong. Even though Valentine’s Day has passed this gentleman’s advice is still quite applicable as we negotiate “made-up occasions” with our loved one’s.
SAGE ADVICE FOR A MADE-UP OCCASION:
If your fourth grade experience was anything like mine, Valentine’s Day meant decorating the classroom with paper hearts and cutting, coloring, gluing and writing Valentine’s intended for exchange with our classmates. Sure, there was some tension involved when we wondered how our cards would be received by a “favorite” girl but, for the most part, it was good, clean fun.
How I wish that were still true as an adult.
I have lived through many, many Valentine’s Days since fourth grade. Prior to my February 14, 2000 marriage to Bette, I can’t recollect too many wonderful Valentine’s Days. Since then, they have all been great because we create days that work for us both. However, before I met Bette I can remember years when February 14th was a real disappointment, either because of inflated expectations or just plain lousy food and service.
Since February 14th is a totally made up “occasion,” and one which causes untold distress for many men and women alike, why don’t we try fitting Valentine’s Day into our lives instead of shoehorning our lives into Valentine’s Day? And, if you’re single, either by choice or by circumstance, reject any notion that you’re “less than” just because you’re not part of a “couple.”
If you want to make this year special, for you and for a special man in your life, here are seven suggestions for Valentine’s Day success as offered from a man’s point of view:
1. It’s a Monday, for Pete’s sake!
February 14, 2011 falls on a Monday. On a day when restaurants are recovering from their busy weekend, many will be pushing an overpriced, overhyped, prix-fixe dinner rushed out of the kitchen to an overcrowded room by overworked wait staff. It’s a workday for most of us, the lucky ones who still have jobs, so we now have to shift from a full business day to creating a memorable romantic evening… because why?
If you’re going out to eat, wouldn’t it be better to enjoy the restaurant when they can be their best? Why not offer to celebrate one evening during the weekend before or after Valentine’s Day? You’ll have more privacy, better service and your food will likely be far more carefully prepared.
2. Please don’t stifle our romance
Men love romance. We do! We love to see your eyes sparkle, your skin glowing, and your hair shining in the evening light. We want to you be happy most of all. The problem is that Valentine’s Day forces us to create romance on demand. There’s no freedom to be spontaneous. Valentine’s Day turns what would otherwise be appreciated as gifts of generosity into delivering what’s expected. Yuck.
3. Ask for what YOU need, not what’s expected by others
In “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women” we discuss getting what you need and what will make you happy. On Valentine”s Day, what you need is whatever would make you upset if you didn’t get it. Being told you’re loved and cherished, or appreciated in another way, might be a need for many. Time alone with a loved one, a time when you feel special, could be needed by many as well. A $200 dinner plus card, flowers, chocolates and champagne? Is that really something you need? Or is it something our culture says you should have?
4. Ask for what would make you happy
Let him know what you need from him to feel loved and special, and then allow him to provide it in his own way. Also, be specific about what would make you happy. “Honey, after I’ve snuggled in your arms and read the card you chose just for me, what would make me happy is a 20-minute foot rub. I’d also be really happy if we could celebrate by going to that great restaurant we both love, but instead of on Valentine’s Day, I’d prefer either this weekend or next, when it won’t be so crowded.”
5. Don’t begrudge reminders
Remember, men don’t come with the ability to read women’s minds, but we so want to win with you. Unless you tell us, we won’t know what you need and might likely guess wrong about what would make you happy. Don’t make that mean we don’t care. We care, but we’re not women. We need your help. We also might need a reminder or two. Strategically placed Post-its, emails, voicemail messages, they all help keep us on track.
6. Appreciate the effort as well as the result
Men live for the appreciation of the women they love. Appreciation is the fuel that fires our engines. Please remember it’s never our intention to disappoint you. If what was provided didn’t match the picture you held in your mind well, we might not have had that picture. If the food or the flowers or the candy isn’t perfect, that doesn’t mean we wished otherwise. Appreciating his efforts will keep your man wanting to provide for you, and that let’s you both win.
7. Above all, love yourself
If Valentine’s Day is about love, than who better to love than yourself? Take the time to reflect on everything that’s wonderful in your life. List all the lives around you that you touch. Toast your own qualities and accomplishments. Give yourself something no one else would ever think of. Make the day your own. Or, ignore it completely. Whichever you choose makes it the right choice for you.
So I hope this works for you.
LEVELS OF CARE
Let me just take a minute to explain the intention behind the levels of care, and the overall objective of this work. Ideally this is a method for healing, for you, your life, your family, your community, the planet. How does Network and SRI do all that?
In Level 1 we are working on creating new strategies in your body so that you can leave more in ease and connection. Our bodies take on lots of stress; from emotional, physical and mental overloads. In level 1 we are making quick contacts within the connective tissue to allow the nervous system to reconnect, to reset, to redistribute, and to release tension. In Level 1 your body learns to get breath from one end of the spine to the other. Muscles move, stretch, and reorganize. Once the tension has dropped your parameters are low, there is ease in the system and it feels good. Your body can adapt to its environment more easily with low tension.
Anyone new to care is in Level 1, also known as Discover. The beginning of this work requires commitment and determination. You know something much greater is waiting for you. It takes different amount of times depending on your spine, your history, and your lifestyle. If you have been injured or if you have a particular amount of stress mounting in your life, it is always good to revisit Level 1 and increase your frequency of visits.
Level 2 – this is the time for Transformation! This is where you reclaim yourself and go into action with all that is Discovered in level 1 and at present. This is where change occurs! Power! We are expanding the gateways, in depth and movement. The rest of the fuel, or tension, remaining in the body is directed into these gateways, and oscillation between two gateways is established. Once this oscillation is developed, cleanly and efficiently, the old stories that have been running you for a long, long time, lose their hold on you. The most effective way to be in transform is to receive two entrainments per week. That way you can keep the action in motion. The action that you take out of the office is significant. This process begins at The Vitality Center and continues in your life. That is the most important part. What is your roadmap? Where are you going? What do you want? Are you willing to fight for it? Are you willing to step into the unknown?
Level 3 – Awakening. Are you living in joy, gratitude, awe, compassion and contribution? When life takes a hold of you like this, or gives you moments or experiences of this you are living in this state. In Level 3 your heart stretches up off the table and becomes the 3rd oscillator with 2 other gateways. Tears of gratitude might roll out. You can experience an altered state of bliss, energy and love. Most of us move through all these levels, and few of us yet stay in Level 3 all the time. This is the play of the shakti, or our paths towards freedom. When you lose this state, what happens? Where does your mind go? What stories are you telling yourself?
In Level 3 one visit per week will sustain you.
What I notice in the office is the people who have the most consistent results, and life transformation are the ones who stick to the recommended visits per week. I honor your financial obligations and want you to be aware that if you are getting fewer visits per week than recommended than the results will vary. And if you are someone who is coming less and less, please understand that I cannot create the same experience with minimal visits. Recommit. Please take this into account. Contemplate what I am saying, and invest in yourself. It is worth it. Trust me.
Regardless I am always happy to work with you, and your families. I am seeing amazing results in so many of you. And I am so happy to see life present so much more than you could have expected. I am thrilled to see families reconnect, and possibilities open up.
Friday, March 11th. Join me for her only visit in the Bay Area this year. She is so god-inspired and beautiful to be in the presence of. Her music is heart felt, and will open your heart BIG. If anyone wants more information check out the following link http://rudramandir.com/performance/snatam-kaur-guruganesha-at-scottish-rite-center.html.
COMING IN MAY/JUNE
Tibetan Pulsing and Constellation Work. More to come…. Save the dates! Memorial Day weekend, and the following weekend.